Uh, I don't want to sound paranoid, but...

My fridge door was open again just now.   That's means it's been open for HOURS.  Unless the fridge spirits just opened it.

Ooooooooooooooooooooo

My Thoughts o' the Day

First:  I think my fridge may be haunted.

It continually seems to open itself when I'm not looking.

I'm not even kidding about this.  I keep checking to see if anything is pressing against the door, but no...  

Hmm.  What do you think causes major appliance hauntings?

Second:  My upper arm muscles, especially my right arm muscles, are gonna need a whole lot more strength and endurance.  Geez.

I've been hammering away at Beethoven (Triple Concerto), Kodaly (Duo) and Shostakovich (Piano Trio no. 2) quite a lot today.  The Beethoven is all in the stratosphere.  The Kodaly and Shostakovich-- particularly the Shostakovich, require beating the hell out of your instrument for extended periods of time (big surprise there). 

Have I mentioned that I like... Shostakovich?

No?

Strange.  I thought I would have mentioned that.

Third:  Whoever invented the use of artificial harmonics needs to be shot.  Except I'm sure he is no longer living.  So that sucks.  As an addendum, composers who employ extended passages of artificial harmonics as muted cello solos should also be punished.  Then again, Dmitri was pretty much punished his whole life, so nevermind.  Sorry Mitya.   But what were you thinking?    guh.

Perhaps I should just think ahead to the killer thumb callus I'm going to develop.

Ah yes. 

Fourth:   Yesterday I was told I was a gift from God.    And it wasn't even a sarcastic comment, believe it or not.   This turned my head inside out, so now my brain is on the outside, which is kinda squishy.  I'm not sure what to think of that.  Also I'm not sure I can think now that my brain is on the outside.

Remember when that happened to The Simpsons?    Though technically their entire bodies turned inside out, not just their brains.   Still, it was pretty gross.

Fifth:   I have learned that my cocoa limit is 70%.   Anything over that is really too much.  Maybe I can go 72% if there is something delicious inside, but 77%... not so much.    As a joke I got my brother a 99% cocoa bar at the World Market. 

Today I introduced Bonnie to Chocolate Covered Espresso Beans.  We discovered that they help rehearsals immensely. 

mmmmm.

Sixth:  It's too weird to be home all night.

Seventh:  Has anyone seen my Rattle/CBSO Mahler 4 cd?   I remember seeing it somewhere recently, and now I can't remember where.   And why isn't it available as a download?  Huh?   Rhapsody and iTunes, I'm looking at YOU.

Jerks.

I just have no tolerance for other Mahler 4s.   Sorry Szell.   No one gets the details in the 3rd movement like Rattle.   There, I said it.  

Eighth:  I forget what eight was for...

Ninth:  Did you get that reference?   

Tenth:  Bonnie is good.   And hilarious.  And she plays with me for some reason, making me have to practice in a vain attempt to measure up.  It's good to have something to aim for, right?   Plus she doesn't make me feel too much like a moron, even though I am because I can't play my parts well enough.  YET.

Eleventh:  Piazzolla is cool.  But expensive.   Damnit.

I think that might be enough thoughts for me.  After all, my brain is outside my skull.  Sooo gushy.

Cheers-

Transcendence

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly... and the Transcendent

The past few days have been surely some of the most emotional of my life. 

It is impossible to tell the whole story for many reasons.  But I believe I have seen someone very dear to me go through the deepest depths of despair and come out the other side and take a small step into the light.   Battered and broken, but alive.  And surely it is when we are at our most contrite that we make the greatest strides forward.

I feel incredibly humble.  Incredibly grateful.  And incredibly hopeful.

Over the years I have spent a lot of time thinking and writing about the nature of friendship.  In the past 48 hours I have seen the interplay of giving and receiving of strength and inspiration work in mindboggling ways.  Life altering ways.  I can only be grateful at this point for the strength I've received, and in turn, the strength and hope I've been able to pass on.

Overlaying this, has been the dissolution of my quartet.   Tedesca is dead.

Yet again, through this loss, strength and hope have arisen.  Loyalty, honesty, trust...   These things are essential, and a small part of me (very small) mourns that one of our foursome could not understand this.    A much larger part of me finds some kind of joy in the bonds between myself and Bonnie and Vicki.   They are truly sisters to me.   I can only be grateful for them and their honesty, integrity, and openness.   Not to mention their musicianship.

All is not lost.

The Bad and The Ugly have no chance in the face of a web of love and compassion.

My advice to anyone in hearing distance:   cultivate that web.

I am overcome with a tangible feeling of hope at this moment.  

Pearl Slides are the Bane of my Existence?

I'm really coming to hate the stupid things.

At least on cheap bows.    I just had to break one out with a chisel, so now I get to make a new one.  Yay.

meh.

Cello Week is over.  I missed a lot of it, but thankfully Francesca and Eileen were here to keep everything running swell-ly.  Also Mom was here most of the week to also help keep everything running swell-ly.   I was sick half the week and at Tuacahn every night, which did not help keep everything running swell-ly.  D'oh!  In the end, it was successful.   Nothing Else Matters was brilliant, and even Ryan and Bobbie liked it.  

Yes.

I kid you not.

Also my students John, Josh and Cade were there, which makes this the first cello week in a while where I had my own actual students attending.  They kicked ass and were amusing, as usual.  I guess I'll keep them.  They're kind of like pets really.

hee hee

I'm very relieved it's over though.  Now I can focus on all things Beethoven-ey.  And make pearl slides.   And play Les Mis.   And drink iced coffee.

I keep having weird vivid dreams.  I don't know what to think about that.

Yesterday I finally joined Facebook.

Yeah, I was the one.   The one without a Facebook account.

Now I have 2 friends.

Huh.

I like my pit orchestras.

I want to hug them.

That is ridiculous.

Perhaps I should take waffles tonight.

Oh yes, and my brother got a job.   Yay!

ok.  cheers-

What the $$?

I just looked at my bank account online and realized that I've spent a gazillion $ at the pharmacy in the last week.

gurr.

I can't afford health.

That's all there is to it.

Today I got stabbed in the back.

By Dr. Fawson.

Everyone enjoyed it.   Well, everyone except me.   Mom watched.  But she's a ghoul.

Now my back hurts.  But evidently the mysterious bite thingie on my back had some lovely super resistant staph in it.   Hooray?

Then Vicki told me about this Readers Digest article all about super bugs.   Hooray again? 

guh.

I'm hoping that the fact that I'm not dead means I'll be fine.   But yes, I did get still MORE antibiotics today.   Now I get to take two courses of them at the same time!   Yum!

Meanwhile, Les Mis is smoothening.  I finally felt good about tonight.  My own playing, I mean.  So that's good.  I was beginning to think I'd never feel comfortable with it.  Still not perfect, but definitely better. 

You should come.

I have a wick in my back.

Isn't that interesting?

That makes me a candle.

I'm  a candle.

Yes.